Sunshine in Winter

Minnesota was just ranked Number 1 as having the worst winters.  I'll admit that the winters can be challenging.  While we have an exceptional snow removal system and efficient, effective highway maintenance, it can sometimes be a challenge to go to work or run errands.

We certainly have winters of extremes: lots of snow, below zero temperatures, wind chill WAY below zero, and even freezing rain/ice.  Just in the last few days, we've had freezing rain which coated the trees and cars in ice, and now we have below zero temperatures.

It's times like this that I am very happy to be retired.  I don't have to experience a white-knuckle drive to work in the morning or freeze while waiting for my car to heat up.   I also don't have to go to work in the dark and return home in the dark-never seeing the light of day.  Contributing to that, we've also had a lot of gray, gloomy days which can really take a toll on your mood.  It's one of the reasons we are all so Vitamin D deprived and take supplements.

One of the things I love about retirement is taking the time to just be in the moment and look around me.  Today I am enjoying the sunshine pouring into our living room.  There's something special about sunshine in the winter.  It can definitely lift your mood, bring a smile to your face, and combat depression.  It also provides a lot of warmth as it streams through the windows even though it is below zero outside.  However, I particularly love the beauty of winter in the sunshine!

Anyone who knows me is aware that I love to take pictures!  One of my favorite things to do is to try to capture light.  Winter sunshine is so very beautiful.  It brightens the snow almost blindingly.  It reflects off of ice to create a different view of the world around us.  The white orb in the sky against the blue sky surrounded by white snow and gray trees provides color in an otherwise drab world.  I am very grateful for the sunshine and for the opportunity to bathe in its warmth and beauty.  This is my joy today!

Have you found your joy today?

30 Days of Joy: Day 6-Celebration

When I sat down to select my topic for today, I wasn't sure which one I would choose.  I have a lot of joy in my life right now; so I usually pick a topic that relates to something that is currently going on.  Last night I had the pleasure of taking care of my granddaughter while my daughter-in-law (and son) attended her twin brothers' high school graduation.  I am glad that they were able to be there.  We have been wondering if she would make it since her baby is due any day now.  While it is usually a long ceremony, it is truly a time to celebrate!

Celebrations are important.  They commemorate the milestones in our lives.  We celebrate birthdays and holidays.  We celebrate retirements and accomplishments like graduations.  It has been so many years since I graduated from high school that I don't remember much about it.  However, I have stronger memories of when I graduated from college, and I have vivid memories of when I graduated from graduate school with my master's degree.  Occasions to celebrate are important to all of us, and I believe that they are memorable celebrations when they are shared with friends and family.

The graduations that are really the most memorable for me are when my sons graduated from high school.  It is such an emotional experience when your child accomplishes this rite of passage into adulthood. The other one was when I graduated from graduate school because my children were there.  I thought that it was important for them to see me graduate.  It is June, and many people are celebrating graduations by holding parties where they invite their school friends, their parent's friends, and family.  I hope that you are looking forward to seeing these young men and women in these celebrations of their accomplishments.

 June is also a month for weddings.  I have a friend who is getting married next weekend.  She has been planning and working on this for a very long time.  Marriage is a wonderful event in our lives, and I love going to weddings.  The celebration of two people joining their lives before friends and family is so joyful and exciting!  It is truly a beginning of a new life for them.  Anniversaries are times when couples celebrate their commitment to each other.  In July, I have been invited to a 50th Wedding Anniversary.  This event to commemorate a lengthy, successful marriage is a wonderful milestone to celebrate.  I can't wait!

As you have read in my blogs, my daughter-in-law is expecting a baby any day now.  This is truly something to celebrate-a new life!  We are so excited to meet this little guy.  Today I received an invitation to a baby shower for some friends.  This is the second baby shower I will have attended for friends recently.  What a hopeful, exciting experience this is with good food, great gifts, and loving friends and family.  

We should always look for occasions to celebrate like when someone gets a new job, finishes a big assignment, completes a semester of classes or teaching.  It is important for them to share these accomplishments with friends and family.  All of these celebrations are important times in our lives, but they become a true celebration in the sharing with people who love and care about the celebrant!  They can be moments of great joy for all involved.  So, I hope that you will be celebrating something wonderful in the near future.   And as always...

Have you found your joy today?

Are Your Mondays Like a Math Problem?

 "Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness."

Have you noticed that Facebook is filled with moans and groans about Mondays?  It is very rare for a Monday to pass without a reference to how difficult Mondays are.  I know that I contributed my share of comments on Facebook when I was particularly stressed about Mondays, because I used to feel the same when I was working.  I hated Mondays!  As someone whose natural body rhythm makes me LOVE late nights and HATE early morning, I always stayed up too late on Sunday nights to try to eke out every last minute of my weekend.  The result was that I was so-o-o tired on Monday mornings.  At times, I felt like I needed an IV of coffee to jump-start my day.  What made it even worse was the fact that I always had an afternoon full of meetings every single Monday.  It was torture!  I felt like I could handle the rest of the week with ease if I could Just. Get. Through. Monday.

Now that I'm retired, I have done a 180 on Mondays.  I LOVE Mondays!  There are many reasons for this change of view.

1. The most obvious is one that work-at-home moms have known for years.  Everyone goes back to work/school, and it is so quiet!  As much as I love my family, I relish the "me time" that faces me every Monday.  My time is my own on Mondays, and I've given myself permission to be lazy that day if I want.  Sometimes I need the day to recover from the hectic events of the weekend.  I read books and the newspaper, listen to my  music, catch up on TV shows that I missed, watch the birds at the feeder, drink my coffee in peace...whatever I want to do!
2. I also have a sense of optimism on Mondays!  While I have things that I need to accomplish during the week, I have four other days to get them done.  Anything I finish on Monday gives me a great sense of accomplishment because it's something I wanted to do-not something I HAD to do.  Anything I didn't get done: no problem!  I have 4 other days to get them done before the weekend is here.
3. I make a point of not setting appointments or scheduling anything on Mondays.  There is something psychologically satisfying about knowing that you don't have a schedule to follow for at least one day every week.  Doctor appointments can occur on a different day of the week.  Social engagements, such as lunches with friends which I thoroughly enjoy, can happen another day.  This is my unscheduled day to experience as it unfolds.

I know that I am very fortunate to have the opportunity to view Mondays differently now that I am retired.  It is very freeing!  I hope that you, too, can find a way to embrace your Mondays.  After all, they are just another day of the week.  You can take charge of them if you want and change their impact on your daily life.  I know, I know.  It's easy to say that; harder to do.  So, here are some ideas you may want to try to make your Mondays more enjoyable: If you have a gamer in your house, you have probably heard about the online game, StarCraft!  There is a commentator for StarCraft competitions named Day9.  Every Monday he releases "Funday Monday" for view online.  While I do not play StarCraft, I love to watch Day9.  He is so entertaining.  Just thinking about his videos brings a smile to my face. Visit Day(9)TV at http://day9.tv/ if you want to check him out.  He will make you laugh! I find that my weekend can get really busy, and I miss news about what's going on in the world.  If you are a news junkie, you may want to try http://news.yahoo.com/10-things-know-monday-104352258.html to catch up on what's happening around you.  It's a quick, fun way to get back in touch. Visit a local coffeehouse on your way to work or on your way home to treat yourself.  If you are lucky enough to live in Northfield, MN, visit the Goodbye Blue Monday Coffee House. Just STOP!  Take a moment for you.  Enjoy the world around you whether it is the sunrise on your way into work, the sun shining in your moon roof, the breeze coming in your window during your drive, the music blasting from your car, your child's smile as you come in the door, or any form of nature that you encounter during your day. These are just a few ideas for you.  You probably have many more to offer that work for you.  Feel free to share them if you'd like.  Bottom line: I hope that you can find a way to make this Monday, and all of those in your future, more palatable.  It has taken me 34 years of working to reach the point where I embrace Mondays and thoroughly enjoy them.  My hope is that you will arrive here one day, too.  In the meantime... Have you found your joy today?

Top Ten Joys of Retirement

At the end of 2011, we see many top ten lists.  They are a way to look back over the last year and reminisce.  Now that I have been retired for six months (6 months!) , I thought that I would do my own top ten: the Top Ten Joys of Retirement.  Here we go:

Not Going to Work: This may be the most obvious, but it is worth mentioning!  While I miss the people I worked with, I do not miss getting up every day to go to work.  I don't miss the stress, the lack of sleep, the politics, and the (pardon me) the bullshit!  I feel like I did great work, but it was time for someone else to move it forward.  I know that I made the right decision at the right time!

Sleep: I was always so sleep deprived when I was working.  I'm such a night owl and would stay up until midnight whether I worked or not.  My weekends were spent trying to recover from exhaustion.  Now I often stay up until 1:00 or 2:00 AM.  I usually get up around 9:00 AM but sleep later if I really want to do so.  My alarm goes off at 8:00 AM.  I listen to the radio and ease into the day.  I am so much more rested.  It is so-o-o wonderful!

Cooking: I am cooking again!  I am also enjoying doing it.  I have rediscovered some of my mother's recipes, and I have discovered new ones.  My not-so-secret addiction is a new TV show: The Chew!  They inspire me to try new things and to explore the joys of cooking again.  Now I have to figure out how to cook and not eat everything I have cooked.  Moderation is going to be the key for me this year.

Reading: I've read over 40 books on my Kindle and more hard copies! This is heaven for me.  I love to read, and Kindle has made it so much easier for me to access my favorite authors anytime I want a new book.  Every day I check to see what the Kindle Daily Deal is although I rarely buy them.  I've also read magazines and newspapers.  I carry my Kindle in my large purse and pull it out to read anytime I have an extra minute.  Many Thursday afternoons I have sat at Starbucks reading while drinking my latte!

Writing: I've thoroughly enjoyed writing this blog during the year.  It was nice to chronical what I was going through as I retired and as I've tried to adjust to my new world of retirement.  My blog has evolved over time and has become more about my mission to find joy in my life every day and less about retirement.  I have also been writing memories from my childhood so that I can share these with my children.  There are memories that I have that no one else has now that my parents are gone.  It has been personally rewarding.  I can't wait to get back to it after the holidays!

Not Getting Dressed Up: I LOVE getting up, throwing on my robe and slippers, making my coffee, and reading the newspaper in the morning.  I don't have to rush to get dressed.  Better yet-I don't have to wear make up every day!  If I want to be in my jammies all day, I can.  I also bought new clothes when I retired so I can hang out in my jeans and sweats.  I am comfy!

Owning My Schedule/Non-Schedule: It is great to be in control of my time.  Some days I accomplish a lot-errands, chores, etc.  At other times, I just watch the birds at my bird feeders or the squirrels chasing each other in our yard.  Some times I do marathon TV watching.  I am also having fun exploring my family history!  It's great not having meetings to go to or deadlines to meet.

Taking Care of Abbey: I have had the pleasure of taking care of my granddaughter, Abbey, two afternoons a week when her mom went to classes.  Her dad picks her up on his way home. It has been great getting to see her change each week as she grows and learns.  I'm happy that she feels comfortable with Grandma.  I'm honored that my daughter-in-law trusts me with her precious daughter.  I am thrilled to have time with my son every week.  I am looking forward to more!

Time With Family and Friends: I am so grateful that I now have time with my family and friends.  Since I'm not so tired all of the time, I spend time with friends.  I stay up late and hang out with Dane, my son who's in college.  I am home when my husband gets home.  We actually have time to do things together.  These lovely people are most important in my life.  It is a blessing to finally share my time with them.  I can do things with my son, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter.  We are all looking forward to the arrival of our new family member in June when Abbey becomes a big sister, and I can't wait to spend time with him/her.

Being in the Moment: The best thing about being retired is being in the moment.  I had forgotten how wonderful it is to just BE!  I have learned to appreciate the changing seasons, the people around me, nature, and whatever I am experiencing.  I take the time to have philosophical conversations.  I savor a glass of wine or a leisurely dinner.  As a result, I find joy everywhere I look.






Thanks for sharing 2011 with me!  Happy New Year to you!  I look forward to writing more blogs during 2012 and hope that you will enjoy them.  If you enjoy reading my ramblings, share them with others or send me a comment.  Whatever you do, be sure to look around and discover joy in your life!

Have you found your joy today?

I Am What I Am

It is very interesting to be "retired".  In previous blogs, I have talked about the ideas that are elicited by this word, but it is a very unique experience to go through.  When I turned 50, I rejoiced in the fact that I liked myself, and I didn't care a lot about what others thought about me.  I was my own woman who had accomplished a lot in her career and life.  I didn't have my youth, but I had my experiences and the wisdom that came from them.  I liked that!  However, now that I am "retired", I am finding that I am at times a bit insecure about myself!


Let me start by saying that I have wonderful friends.  However, most of them are much younger than I am.  I also have a husband who is the same age but very physically fit.  I, on the other hand, am not!  Intellectually, I think I'm doing great, but I am a very quiet person.  I am not dramatic, beautiful, funny, clever, or particularly social.  I am a true introvert!  Many people think that introverts don't like being with others, are socially awkward, or can't speak in front of a group.  I was a teacher.  I was a high level professional who addressed a room full of people easily.  I was a human resource professional who liked working with people.  So, that is not a true definition of an introvert.  It is all about how you re-energize!  


My husband is very quiet but he is truly an extrovert.  He gets jazzed by being with people!  He loves groups of people and is very comfortable no matter what-even if he doesn't know anyone else there.  This gives him lots of energy.  I, on the other hand, prefer small gatherings, talking one-on-one and parties where I know most everyone.  Parties and new people exhaust me!  I am friendly, smiling, can hold a conversation, enjoy myself, but it saps my energy.  I need to be alone to recharge!  


As a result, alone time is very important to me.  However, I am finding that I now have too much (I can't believe I am saying this) alone time!  Working provided a nice balance: seeing people during the day, recharging at night.  Granted, it was sometimes hard to socialize on the weekends because I needed more time alone, but I did have a better balance.  


My friends are lovely!  They are open, giving, smiling, energetic, clever, funny, attractive, sexy, make-you-feel-good people. Now that I have enough time alone to recharge, I am eager to socialize on the weekends.   I just feel boring and uninteresting.  A term that was used at work a lot in the last few years was "value added".  In my retirement, I started wondering what value I add, and then I had a moment that has seemed to bring my balance back!


Have you ever seen "La Cage Aux Folles"?  My husband and I recently saw the Broadway Tour of this musical.  We had seen it many years ago, and I loved The Birdcage which was the movie version.  However, this time it spoke to me in a different way.  If you have ever seen it, you know that there is a riveting, emotional scene at the end of Act I where the much-maligned character of Albin sings "I Am What I Am".  The words to the first verse are:
I am what I am
I am my own special creation.
So come take a look,
Give me the hook or the ovation.
It's my world that I want to take a little pride in,
My world, and it's not a place I have to hide in.
Life's not worth a damn,
'Til you can say, "Hey world, I am what I am."
This is how I felt when I turned 50.  This is how I again feel about myself.  I am a great believer that you have to be aware of the world around you, because there are messages and lessons for you if you look for them.  I believe that this message was there for me as a reminder.  It seems to have reset the balance for me.  So, here I am; take me for what I am-no more and no less!  Be joyful in who you are and in the world around you.


Have you found your joy today?

Are You a Worrier?

We all have worries.  It is certainly a necessary part of life.  If everything was wonderful in our lives, I don't think that we would appreciate the good times-the JOYS we find in our lives.  I don't think that we would make good decisions.  I also think that it exercises our cognitive skills as we determine options, analyze their effectiveness, and decide on a course of action.  So worrying can be a good thing.

I love people, I love to watch them, and recently I have found it interesting to analyze how they handle worrying.  My dad didn't worry very often.  Instead, when he did have a problem that needed resolving, you could almost see the wheels turning in his brain as he examined the issues.  Once he found an action strategy, he carried it out and moved on with his life.  I think that most of the time he was very happy.  My mother, on the other hand, was a master worrier.  She worried about everything-even those things that she could do nothing about.  I remember being amazed that she worried about not having enough water while living in Arizona or thinking about getting earthquake insurance in the Midwest.  Don't get me wrong.  My mother was a very reasonable, intelligent woman.  However, her emotional makeup made worrying an integral part of her daily life.  I didn't understand it when I was younger. In fact, I can remember being upset when she would worry about me even after I reached adulthood.  I thought that it was because she didn't have enough faith in my ability to manage my life.  Years of experience have now given me a totally different viewpoint.

I have often thought about my approach to worrying.  I would frequently have issues to resolve related to work just like my dad did.  I felt that I was like him in my approach, as well.  I would stew on the problem, identify solutions, and decide how I wanted to solve the problem.  Once that was done, I let it go and moved on.  I have always found making decisions easy; I am decisive.  However, now that I am retired, I have had more time to analyze my style.  I am surprised to find that I am probably a combination of my parents' worrying styles.  I think that is because I am a mother AND because I now have time to worry.

As a young mother, I worried about my children: were they safe, were they well, was I a good mother?  As all mothers know, it is just part of the mantle of motherhood that we assume when we have a child.  Interestingly enough, fathers don't appear to suffer from the same effect.  Don't get me wrong: they do worry about their children, but they use my father's approach to deal with it and throw it off.  I just think that mother's have worrying down to a science!

As a recent retiree with grown children, I am finding that I worry more now that I am home.  Of course, I worry about my children.  (Shades of my mother!!!  I now understand that she DID believe in me and my abilities.)  I certainly believe in my children.  I am proud of the young adults they have become.  However, I still worry about them, and I think it is because I have time to worry.  When I was working, I didn't have a lot of time to worry about things.  I also know that if I was worried about something, I got a break from it when the workday took over.  Now I don't get a break from worries, and it is a challenge to step out of it sometimes!  Now I understand why my mother worried so much.  She didn't have an outside job where she could get a break from her worries.

I am finding that I have to learn new strategies to escape from worrying.  Writing helps me a lot so I may be writing more blogs in the future.  Being with friends, hugging my granddaughter, talking to my children, cuddling with my husband all help. I am even playing more games than I used to play.  Most importantly, I am taking time to find joy in my life.  This is the first year when I have had time to enjoy the fall and its beauty.  I am enjoying cooking (made freezer jam for the first time!) and finding new recipes.  I realize that worrying can be a healthy part of life.  We just need to find a balance by also finding the joy in our lives.

Have you found your joy today?

What Are You Going to Do When You Retire?

I have been asked this question so many times in the last few months.  It was often asked with a puzzled tone-almost as if there is nothing to do after retirement.  Boy, do I have a totally different idea about retirement.  I have so many things that I want to do.  I don't know when I'll have time to do them all!

So, in an attempt to answer those inquiries, here goes:

1. Travel. The first thing that I did was go on a 2 week vacation.  Don and I went to the Black Hills, to Yellowstone, to Salt Lake City, and to northern Idaho to visit a friend.  Pictures will soon be up on Facebook if you want to see the lovely sights.  This was a much needed time away to rest, rejuvenate, and feed the soul with nature's beauty.  I hope to do more as time and money allows.
2. Set up my home office.  This is still a work in progress, but I am writing my blog in my new office.  I still have boxes to unpack but I'm taking it as it feels right.  Don and Dane helped me clean the room.  I am slowly moving things in.  For now I have music, light, a desk/chair, and my computer.  More to come in the next few days.  I am also taking on the title of Principal, Nielsen Consulting.  Don and I established Nielsen Consulting many years ago for his business with the idea that I would use it when I retired.  I am expecting that I will do some projects or consulting as time goes on; so I have set this up as my base.  
3. Spend time with family and friends.  I have been "hanging out" with Dane and will soon be spending more time with my granddaughter.  She will be staying with me every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon for a couple of hours while my daughter-in-law goes to school.  My son will pick her up on his way home from work.  I am  looking forward to our time together.  Don and I also went to Winona, MN for the weekend with friends to experience the Great River Shakespeare Festival.  It was relaxing and a great time.  I loved the talent of the actors, the staging, and the opportunity to see Henry IV Part I and Midsummer Night's Dream.  I hope to see some of our Facebook friends this weekend as it is the end of the month and time for our monthly dinner.
4. Digitize.  We have drawers full of slides that I want to capture digitally.  This will take some time and I am eager to get started.  I know that we have slides of our trip to Europe years ago and many others that I have forgotten about.  (I may also try to change some of our record albums to MP3 format.)  Once I get this project done, I will move to the next one.
5. Scrap booking.  I want to print out slides and make some scrapbooks of our adventures.  I also have everything bought to make a scrapbook of our son's wedding once I get all of the pictures.  I have one in process on my family history that I want to finish.
6. Genealogy. I am very interested in researching our family history.  One of the reasons that we went to Salt Lake City was to visit the Family History Center where they are the largest resource for genealogical study.  I actually met with someone who helped me get started and showed me how to access the information when I returned home.  I have also talked to several friends who have helped me with technological tools for organizing the information I find.  This will be a long-term project, and I can't wait to get started.
7. Writing.  I want to write my family history for my children.  There are things that I experienced that no one else knows now that both of my parents are gone.  Stories that I was told, things that we did as a family, life in the 1950s, 1960s, and 1970s.  I also have wanted to write a book on parenting-not that I'm an expert, but I have some thoughts on it that I want to capture.  I also want to continue this blog to chronicle my journey.  I think it will be interesting to go back and read this in a few years.
8. Photography.  Don has been an avid photographer for many years.  I have also developed an interest but have never had enough time.  I want to try my hand at this.  I also want to look into selling photos as Don has been interested in that for several years.  We have never done anything with it, but it would be interesting to explore.
9. Painting.  I want to take an oil painting class.  I have always wanted to try this.  I have drawings that I have done in my house but have never tried painting.  I took some photographs on vacation that I may use for inspiration, and I saw gorgeous oil paintings at the Marine Art Museum in Winona that had such detail and beauty.  I may not be good at this but it should be fun!
10. Learning.  I want to keep my mind stimulated.  I want to relearn Spanish and maybe try to learn French.  I want to go to the Nobel Conference at Gustavus Adolphus College (my alma mater) in the fall and try some Rhodes Scholar classes.  I want to waste the afternoon exploring the internet looking at items that interest me.
11. Enjoy outdoors.  I want to ride my bike, take a walk, sit on our deck, watch the birds and animals in our yard.  (I have already seen 3 foxes.)  After being cooped up in an office for many years, it is a pleasure to see the daylight and enjoy outdoors.
12. Cook.  I haven't enjoyed cooking in the last few years but that wasn't always true.  I have always loved to bake and do enjoy cooking when I have time.  I have started doing some cooking and expect to do more in the fall when it gets cooler and the fall harvest arrives.  Apples, pumpkins, soups, stews-YUM!  I can't wait!
13. Read.  This is one of my favorite things to do, and I have already started this one.  I love sitting down with a cup of coffee and a good book.  It relaxes me!  My kindle makes this so easy, and I can carry it with me wherever I go.
14. Movies.  I have a lot of movies that I want to see-both in the theater and on Netflix.  I thoroughly enjoy losing myself in someone's story.  This will be more for entertainment in the winter in front of the fireplace when the weather is inclement and I want to cuddle at home.
15. De-clutter.  I want to take my time and clean out my closets and de-clutter my house.  We will always have too much "stuff", but I think that I can get rid of some things.  I've never had time for this with the hours that I worked.  Now I will, but I will never enjoy cleaning a lot.  So, I will take it slow and try to make steady progress.  It will be nice to be able to actually finish something!  I rarely had that closure at work.  I'm looking forward to it.

You can probably see why it was always hard for me to answer the question when it was asked of me.  I think that I will be doing a lot in my retirement.  In fact, I will probably have trouble getting to everything that I want to do, but I'm up for the challenge!  It will be joyful and exciting!  I can't wait.

Have you found your joy today?

I'm Officially a Retiree!

It is official!  I am retired.  Or is it just tired?  I feel like I have been running a marathon for the last few months and have just crossed the finish line.  I have had 3 retirement parties (probably a topic for a future blog), tons of work, little sleep, and lots of emotions.  Many people have asked me what I'm going to do when I retire.  Right now, I just want to rest, but that's easier said than done.

This was a morning when I could have slept late.  Did I? NO!  I woke up thinking about a solution to an issue at work.  I have had a strong urge to check email which is the first thing I usually did when I got into the office.  So far I've resisted but this urge is compelling!  What is up with that?  I definitely need to work on a new mantra: NMP=Not My Problem!  However, this is not me.  I am a problem solver by nature.  I think I am going to have to work at it.  (On a related note, my husband just asked me if I was doing work email.  Doesn't that tell the story?)

I AM going on vacation.  I think I need this to break the cycle.  In the past when I have gone on vacation, it has taken me at least 3 days to unwind.  I wonder how long it will take to unwind from 34 years of work?  That's an incredible amount of time to develop work habits.  Of course, it will take time to reprogram myself.  I have many years of work habits that I need to break; retraining myself is going to take time!

I have to take note of several interesting things that are going on right now:

1. Yesterday was my last day of employment.  Coincidentally, my oldest son got a job offer yesterday!  While he has been working multiple part-time jobs in his field to support his family ( my lovely daughter-in-law and precious granddaughter), he has not found full time employment since graduating from college.  Five months ago he began a paid internship at a marketing firm.  Yesterday, they offered him full time employment.  I find the timing of all of this very serendipitous!  
2. Today the state of Minnesota is shut down!  That this happened on my first day of retirement is very humorous.  I just changed by Facebook status to say, "First day of retirement!  Now the state is shut down?  Guess the sate can't run without me!"  Please know that this is all in jest.  Everyone at work has been very kind and has talked about how hard they think it's going to be without me.  Now, I am a firm believer that we can ALL be replaced.  While things may be different, all will be just fine!  So then to have the state shutdown!  Hilarious!
3. I am unemployed!  That just sounds strange to me.  I have worked for so long.  I'm not sure how to feel about this.
4. Finally, while I won't miss the work, I AM going to miss seeing my friends and colleagues.  They hold a very special place in my life.  They were my joy at work and kept me going when I needed support.  

    My joy today has been sharing this special day with all of you!  But what about you?


Have you found your joy today?

Can I let go?

My family will tell you that I am often consumed by work.  Today's technology certainly contributes to that.  I work in the office long hours and take work home.  I check email or my Blackberry even during my private time.  It isn't unusual for me to read and send emails at eleven or twelve at night.  While I never have trouble falling asleep, I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night thinking about a problem or issue that needs to be resolved.  So, I have wondered if I would be able to let go.  I found my answer when I was forced to take some time off this past winter.

I had to have surgery this past January.  While it wasn't the busiest time at work, there was a lot going on.  I was hoping to only be gone for 4 weeks but it stretched out to 6 weeks. This time turned out to be a blessing.  I rediscovered some of my favorite pasttimes: reading, games, movies, watching the wildlife in our backyard, spending time talking with my son and husband.  It was wonderful!  I didn't constantly check my email, I didn't get phone messages about work, and I never checked my Blackberry. It was during this time that I was convinced that I could let go of work and embrace the world of BEING!

Returning to work has been hard.  I caught the bronchial virus that was going around everywhere and had to take even more time off.  While I was trying to get my health back and feeling guilty about needing to be at work after my long absence, I realized that I was ready to let go.

Don't get me wrong: I have loved my work!  It has been challenging and exciting.  At times, I was definitely an adrenaline junkie as many of us in the Human Resources world are!  I'm very proud of the work that I am leaving behind.  I've accomplished a lot.  However, I have reached the point where I firmly believe that it is time for someone else to pick up this work and move it forward.

I want to use retirement to rediscover the Art of Being!  As you know from reading my posts on this blog, I am always looking to find joy in my life.  I know that I will always continue to do so, but I also want to just BE!  I want to enjoy the act of living, loving, sharing.  Don and I have discovered many wonderful friends throughout our marriage, and I want to share joy with them and my family. I also want to revel in the silence and live in the moment. Can I let go?  I CAN let go of work, but I will never let go of learning new things, facing new challenges,and  loving life/family/friends.  I also know that I will never let go of Joy!  What about you?

Have you found your joy today?

Am I a Title?

For 33 years, I have held a title: teacher, mentor, adjunct professor, lead mentor, administrator, director.  Now that my work life with the school district is ending, I will be leaving those titles behind.  It makes me wonder how I will feel.

I remember watching my dad when he retired.  He was a vice president of a major corporation one moment; then he was not.  It was hard for him.  I think that he lost a part of his identity.  Status was a big part of his generation, and his status was tied to his title.  

I am a member of the baby boomer generation.  I survived watching the Vietnam War every single night during my formative years.  We questioned the government; we questioned the status quo.  I know that this changed my life.  I was not like my parents in defining myself by the viewpoints of others.  I decided a long time ago to be my own person.  I am hoping that this will continue into my retirement.  I also realize that I have other titles that may mean even more to me!

One title that I am proud of is "wife"!   That title is one that I have held for a very long time-almost 38 years now.   I have earned it!  I was fortunate that I married my best friend, but every marriage is hard.  You have to work at it, and I have done so.  While my husband will still be working for a few more years, I am hoping that my retirement will allow us to spend more time together on the weekends instead of errands or resting because I was so tired.  Eventually, we hope to be able to travel and explore old age together.

Another title that means a lot to me is "sister".  I am so blessed because I have twin brothers whom I love very much.  They don't live in the Twin Cities anymore, and I don't get to see them very often BUT I adore them.  This is a title that I have held the longest-for 47 years.  (Sadly, both of my parents are gone so I can't claim the title of daughter anymore.)  My brothers have shared my journey/my history and love me no matter what.  There is always a connection there.  Since there is a difference in our ages, we are in different stages of our lives.  However, I know that they are always there if I need them.  

I have saved the most important title for last: "mother".  This is the one that I am most proud of and I think that it truly defines me if any title does.  This one has changed my life!  I will be a mother to my last breath.  I know that fathers love their children, but I don't think that they understand a mother's love.  It is visceral!  It is all-encompassing!  And it never goes away no matter how old they are-no matter what they do!  I am so proud of my sons and the young men they have become.  They are smart, caring, and loving.  My older son is a lot like me.  We often see the world in the same way, and I enjoy watching him with my granddaughter (yes, I am a grandmother, too!).  He is in love with his daughter and it touches my soul.  How can I describe my feelings for my younger son?  We are alike and different at the same time, and we have a connection that is strong, resilient, and indescribable.  I am grateful for every minute I can spend with him as I watch him grow up before my eyes.  

Am I giving up my titles from work?  Yes!  However, I am keeping the titles that truly define me, that truly are important to me.  And who knows?  I may experience exciting and new titles in my future!  And no matter what: my joy is still with me because it is in my family! 

Have you found your joy today?

You're retiring? You must be old!

I can remember when I was young and heard about people retiring.  I always thought, "They must be old.  Their life is almost over."  I pictured them with gray hair, going to bed early every night, not really having much to look forward to in their remaining years.  Then my dad retired from Corporate America, had 2 different businesses, moved to Florida, moved to Arizona, and had a great retirement life with my mother.  This made me examine my definition of retirement. For the first time, I had a very different perspective on what retirement really meant.

I also remember that, when I began teaching, I wondered how I could ever do this for 10 years-let alone enough years until I could retire.  It seemed FOREVER!  My own retirement seemed so-o-o-o far away.  I first substituted, then had my own classrooms; I mentored, became an administrator, and a director.  Now I look around and discover that 33 years have gone by.  What I thought would take so long, in retrospect, seems like it went by fairly quickly.

Am I older?  Yes, of course, I am!  Do I have gray hair?  Of course, I have some gray (I still have some red hair, too)!  However, I also am wiser, and I like who I am at this point in my life.  I feel like I have accomplished wonderful things in my life: raising 2 sons, having a very successful career that has challenged me and that I have loved, had a loving marriage with my best friend.  I feel like I have paid my dues and am looking forward to my retirement.

In my first post, I talked about how I viewed life: that we go through 3 phases: childhood, adulthood, and retirement.  I am now entering the third phase of my life: retirement.  I believe that I have many wonderful years to enjoy life.  I can do this without feeling guilty or having it compete with my need to earn a living.  I have earned the right to explore life without the time constraints I had during my adulthood phase.  I can stay up late (which is my natural rhythm) without having to worry about getting up for work each morning.  I can finally have time to be at home and may even be able to have some time just for myself!

I know that I am very fortunate to be able to do this.  Many are not able to experience this phase in the way that I am hoping to be able to do.  I am looking forward to having the time to learn new things, to explore new things, and to enjoy time with my family.  What will I do with my time?  That is a post for another day.  For now, I plan to find my joy.

Have you found your joy today?

Countdown to Retirement

Today begins the countdown to retirement! Two months from today my career life will end, and I will be starting the next phase of my life.

It seems to me that we live our lives in three phases: childhood, adulthood, and retirement.   During childhood, we have an innocence about us.  Our lives are filled with joy about all of the new discoveries, learnings, and play.  If we are lucky, we are safe and loved.  Time goes slowly, and we can't wait for our next birthday.  During adulthood, we discover autonomy, love, work, and pleasure.  We struggle with money issues, relationships, starting a family, and careers.  Life is exciting and hard!  We have disappointments and exhilaration.  Stress becomes a constant companion, and we often forget how to play.  It was during this phase of my life that I discovered the title to this blog: Joy2Day! 

Joy2Day has become my daily mantra.  My career has been with one educational employer my whole life.  Curiously enough, my career has been divided into 3 roles: teacher, mentor, HR director.  Amazing to be able to do this in one educational setting!  I have been very fortunate.  When I was in my mentoring phase, I discovered an appreciation for joy one day when I watched my mentor, the HR director at that time, take a moment out of his busy day to stop and literally smell the roses before a meeting!  This was a full-body, live in the moment experience for him.  You could see him leave behind the baggage of the day and embrace the fragrance and beauty before him. This was eye opening to me.  I had always heard that saying, but had never truly understood it.  

Later when I (to my surprise!) became the HR director, I remembered that event as I was struggling with the stress of the job.  That was when I made the promise to myself to find joy in my life every single day!  Some days it has been very difficult to find joy, but it is always there: my sons' smiles or phone calls, my husband's presence at my side on the couch, a sunset, a deer in our yard, birds at the feeder, a tulip popping through the ground.  Something is always there if I only open my consciousness to finding it!  

Now as I am transitioning from the adulthood phase to the retirement phase, I hope that I can continue Joy2Day as my companion.  I hope that, with the extra time available to me, I will find joy and not the boredom or restlessness that many retirees experience.  I am striving to fill my days with simple joy, and I want to take you on that journey with me!  

Have you found your joy today?