I'm Officially a Retiree!

It is official!  I am retired.  Or is it just tired?  I feel like I have been running a marathon for the last few months and have just crossed the finish line.  I have had 3 retirement parties (probably a topic for a future blog), tons of work, little sleep, and lots of emotions.  Many people have asked me what I'm going to do when I retire.  Right now, I just want to rest, but that's easier said than done.

This was a morning when I could have slept late.  Did I? NO!  I woke up thinking about a solution to an issue at work.  I have had a strong urge to check email which is the first thing I usually did when I got into the office.  So far I've resisted but this urge is compelling!  What is up with that?  I definitely need to work on a new mantra: NMP=Not My Problem!  However, this is not me.  I am a problem solver by nature.  I think I am going to have to work at it.  (On a related note, my husband just asked me if I was doing work email.  Doesn't that tell the story?)

I AM going on vacation.  I think I need this to break the cycle.  In the past when I have gone on vacation, it has taken me at least 3 days to unwind.  I wonder how long it will take to unwind from 34 years of work?  That's an incredible amount of time to develop work habits.  Of course, it will take time to reprogram myself.  I have many years of work habits that I need to break; retraining myself is going to take time!

I have to take note of several interesting things that are going on right now:

1. Yesterday was my last day of employment.  Coincidentally, my oldest son got a job offer yesterday!  While he has been working multiple part-time jobs in his field to support his family ( my lovely daughter-in-law and precious granddaughter), he has not found full time employment since graduating from college.  Five months ago he began a paid internship at a marketing firm.  Yesterday, they offered him full time employment.  I find the timing of all of this very serendipitous!  
2. Today the state of Minnesota is shut down!  That this happened on my first day of retirement is very humorous.  I just changed by Facebook status to say, "First day of retirement!  Now the state is shut down?  Guess the sate can't run without me!"  Please know that this is all in jest.  Everyone at work has been very kind and has talked about how hard they think it's going to be without me.  Now, I am a firm believer that we can ALL be replaced.  While things may be different, all will be just fine!  So then to have the state shutdown!  Hilarious!
3. I am unemployed!  That just sounds strange to me.  I have worked for so long.  I'm not sure how to feel about this.
4. Finally, while I won't miss the work, I AM going to miss seeing my friends and colleagues.  They hold a very special place in my life.  They were my joy at work and kept me going when I needed support.  

    My joy today has been sharing this special day with all of you!  But what about you?


Have you found your joy today?

Can I let go?

My family will tell you that I am often consumed by work.  Today's technology certainly contributes to that.  I work in the office long hours and take work home.  I check email or my Blackberry even during my private time.  It isn't unusual for me to read and send emails at eleven or twelve at night.  While I never have trouble falling asleep, I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night thinking about a problem or issue that needs to be resolved.  So, I have wondered if I would be able to let go.  I found my answer when I was forced to take some time off this past winter.

I had to have surgery this past January.  While it wasn't the busiest time at work, there was a lot going on.  I was hoping to only be gone for 4 weeks but it stretched out to 6 weeks. This time turned out to be a blessing.  I rediscovered some of my favorite pasttimes: reading, games, movies, watching the wildlife in our backyard, spending time talking with my son and husband.  It was wonderful!  I didn't constantly check my email, I didn't get phone messages about work, and I never checked my Blackberry. It was during this time that I was convinced that I could let go of work and embrace the world of BEING!

Returning to work has been hard.  I caught the bronchial virus that was going around everywhere and had to take even more time off.  While I was trying to get my health back and feeling guilty about needing to be at work after my long absence, I realized that I was ready to let go.

Don't get me wrong: I have loved my work!  It has been challenging and exciting.  At times, I was definitely an adrenaline junkie as many of us in the Human Resources world are!  I'm very proud of the work that I am leaving behind.  I've accomplished a lot.  However, I have reached the point where I firmly believe that it is time for someone else to pick up this work and move it forward.

I want to use retirement to rediscover the Art of Being!  As you know from reading my posts on this blog, I am always looking to find joy in my life.  I know that I will always continue to do so, but I also want to just BE!  I want to enjoy the act of living, loving, sharing.  Don and I have discovered many wonderful friends throughout our marriage, and I want to share joy with them and my family. I also want to revel in the silence and live in the moment. Can I let go?  I CAN let go of work, but I will never let go of learning new things, facing new challenges,and  loving life/family/friends.  I also know that I will never let go of Joy!  What about you?

Have you found your joy today?