Saturday, May 28, 2011

Can I let go?

My family will tell you that I am often consumed by work.  Today's technology certainly contributes to that.  I work in the office long hours and take work home.  I check email or my Blackberry even during my private time.  It isn't unusual for me to read and send emails at eleven or twelve at night.  While I never have trouble falling asleep, I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night thinking about a problem or issue that needs to be resolved.  So, I have wondered if I would be able to let go.  I found my answer when I was forced to take some time off this past winter.

I had to have surgery this past January.  While it wasn't the busiest time at work, there was a lot going on.  I was hoping to only be gone for 4 weeks but it stretched out to 6 weeks. This time turned out to be a blessing.  I rediscovered some of my favorite pasttimes: reading, games, movies, watching the wildlife in our backyard, spending time talking with my son and husband.  It was wonderful!  I didn't constantly check my email, I didn't get phone messages about work, and I never checked my Blackberry. It was during this time that I was convinced that I could let go of work and embrace the world of BEING!

Returning to work has been hard.  I caught the bronchial virus that was going around everywhere and had to take even more time off.  While I was trying to get my health back and feeling guilty about needing to be at work after my long absence, I realized that I was ready to let go.

Don't get me wrong: I have loved my work!  It has been challenging and exciting.  At times, I was definitely an adrenaline junkie as many of us in the Human Resources world are!  I'm very proud of the work that I am leaving behind.  I've accomplished a lot.  However, I have reached the point where I firmly believe that it is time for someone else to pick up this work and move it forward.

I want to use retirement to rediscover the Art of Being!  As you know from reading my posts on this blog, I am always looking to find joy in my life.  I know that I will always continue to do so, but I also want to just BE!  I want to enjoy the act of living, loving, sharing.  Don and I have discovered many wonderful friends throughout our marriage, and I want to share joy with them and my family. I also want to revel in the silence and live in the moment. Can I let go?  I CAN let go of work, but I will never let go of learning new things, facing new challenges,and  loving life/family/friends.  I also know that I will never let go of Joy!  What about you?

Have you found your joy today?

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