30 Days of Joy: Day 14-Appreciation

There have been several things over the last few days that have made me start thinking about appreciation.  At first, I thought that appreciation was the same as being thankful.  However, that didn't feel complete to me.  It seemed to me that appreciation means so much more, and I was right!

When you look at a definition of appreciation, you find the following:

• gratitude; thankful recognition
• the act of estimating the qualities of things and giving them their proper value
• clear perception or recognition, especially of aesthetic quality
• critical notice; evaluation; opinion

Being thankful is certainly a part of appreciation.  It may even be the first step in the process or the way that we realize that there is something to be appreciated.  However, to truly appreciate something, you must go further than being thankful.  You have to place a high value on it.

In considering appreciation, I have realized that there are many types of appreciation.  In fact, you can go to school to develop some appreciations.

There is music appreciation.

There is art appreciation.  How many of us took this type of class in college?






There is food appreciation.  This can range from being appreciative that you have a meal on the table to making a living as a critic or chef.

There is also an appreciation for accomplishments.  This is probably what started me thinking about this particular topic.  I'm sure that you have heard about the commencement address given by an English teacher to the graduating class of 2012 at Wellesley High School in Massachusetts.  If you haven't done so, I encourage you to read his full commencement speech.  He has received a lot of reactions for beginning his speech by telling the graduating students that they are not special.  What he is really telling these students is that, while they have accomplished a lot already, they have to work hard to make their way in the world.  They have to make a difference in the world.  Yes, they are special, but everyone is special.  We all have something to contribute to this world, but we have to work at it.  There is a popular acronym out there right now-YOLO (You Only Live Once).  He says that is wrong; instead you live only once (YLOO) and that you should live every day to the fullest.  I wholeheartedly agree with his message and think that graduates need to hear this as they enter the world on their own.  They need this as a balance to what they have heard throughout their lives thus far.

As a parent, it is important that we tell our children how wonderful they are and that we encourage them.  As fledglings, they need us to believe in them so that they develop a strong belief in themselves.  This is why they receive certificates of appreciation in school or trophies when they play soccer.  We need to teach them to celebrate their accomplishments.  By doing this sparingly, we help them recognize that feeling of pride in a job well done.  Over time, if we are appropriate in showing appreciation for their efforts, they will develop their particular talents and will start to develop intrinsic rewards that will carry them into the work world.  I always put up artwork, read stories, listened to music, watched homemade videos,and ate the baking/cooking experiments of my children.  Did I let them fail?  Of course.  Did they excel in all of those areas?  No, but they do excel in some of those areas.  This experimentation, encouragement, and appreciation provided a nurturing environment for them to grow and develop the talents that have made them wonderful, contributing adults.  This was my job as a parent.

We also live in a youth-conscious society that has a tremendous appreciation for beauty. Sometimes I think that we have gone overboard in identifying a particular age or physical look as the ideal form of beauty in women.  I recently heard Tyra Banks say that the perfect size for models when she first started was a size 6; now model size is a size 0.  She is working hard to try to change that.  I think most women do not think they are beautiful.  We use words like cute, attractive, and curvy to describe ourselves on our good days.  However, I think all of us are beautiful.  There is an inner beauty that shines through the eyes of a confident woman who has an appreciation for life no matter her age.  We just need to look for it!

This weekend we are celebrating Father's Day.  We will take the time to show our appreciation for our fathers and for the fathers of our children.  I know it sometimes feels commercial, but I believe that the intent of the day is a good one.  I am very blessed.  I had a wonderful father.  I was lucky to meet a wonderful man who became my husband and the father of my children.  I have two wonderful sons one of which is now a father himself.  I should show my appreciation for them every day but that doesn't happen in our busy world. I think it is good to have a designated day so I can remember to show my appreciation for all that they have done to enrich my life and to nurture me as a person.  Their love is a beautiful part of my life.

I am very fortunate that I am surrounded by exceptional people who are my friends and family, and I truly appreciate that they are a part of my life. They bring me tremendous joy!  I am thankful that I have met them, I recognize the value that they have in my life, and I am wholeheartedly appreciative of their friendship, support, and love.  It is important that we look around us to find the people and things that bring us joy and then to show our appreciation for them.  I have joy in my life.  I hope that you will take the time to look around and discover the things you appreciate!

Have you found your joy today?

30 Days of Joy: Day 13-Music

I think music in itself is healing.  It's an explosive expression of humanity.
It's something we are all touched by.
No matter what culture we're from, everyone loves music.
Billy Joel

I believe that music is an important part of our lives.  It has different degrees of importance for each of us, but I believe that everyone enjoys some type of music. My dad loved country and cowboy music: Marty Robbins was a favorite of his.  I can remember hearing him play the record "El Paso" when I was very young.  My mother loved all types of music.  She had the radio on all day long so we heard the newest songs being released at the time.  Some of my earliest memories are of listening to "Purple People Eater", "Tequila", "Witch Doctor", "Tom Dooley", and "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" on the radio.  Most of these songs are from 1958 when I was 5 (6 in November) years old.  As a result of this early exposure to music, I have had a love for music my whole life.

I like all kinds of music.  My taste is very eclectic, but I always want to listen to the newest music so I can stay current.  I don't ever want to become one of those old people who puts down the music of the younger generation!  I really don't think that will happen to me.  When I was working, I didn't have a lot of time to listen to music so I made sure that I listened to music in the car to and from work.  Most of the time I learned about new groups and heard new songs from my sons.  I always spent time listening to their music so I knew what they were listening to and to keep up with what was cutting edge. We would often discuss new groups and why we liked particular songs.  They were my method of keeping up with the times.

Nowadays, I am often more current than they are because I have satellite radio in my car.  I also try to watch the top 20 videos on VH1 every Saturday morning, because I love the visual experience of videos and music. I have music on my iPhone plus I have several "radio stations" that I listen to on Pandora when I am using my computer.  I notice that many of my friends on Facebook are listening to Spotify or share their exercise playlist for the day.  No matter how we access it, music is an important part of our lives!

Have you ever had the experience of hearing a song from your past that propels you back to a specific time and place?  I'm sure that most of us have had that happen.  When I was in tenth grade (1967-1968), they played music in the lunchroom every day.  To this day, I am transported back to that lunchroom and eating an ice cream sandwich when I hear "Incense and Peppermint"!  The songs I mentioned earlier bring me back to the living room of our house in Miami.  "Amazing Grace" (bagpipe version) reminds me of my father's funeral.  "Baby Mine" from the Beaches Soundtrack reminds me of rocking my older son and singing to him when he couldn't sleep as a baby.  (Also "Under the Boardwalk" if he needed a faster rocking tune!).  "Your Song" by Elton John reminds me of early dating days with my husband while "Maggie May" brings me back to a pizza restaurant the time we snuck away in college for a weekend together in the big town of Estherville, Iowa.

I am probably in a small minority of people who loves musicals.  I always have.  I loved it when Buffy had a musical; I also enjoyed Grey's Anatomy when they had musical numbers in their show.  I was even a fan of the show Cop Rock in 1990.  Most of you have probably never heard of this Steven Bochco musical cop show.  I have watched Mary Poppins, The Sound of Music, and West Side Story many times.  I loved Wicked and Les Mis (can't wait for the movie coming out in December!).  Given my love for music and musicals, it should not be a surprise to you that I am so excited about seeing Rock of Ages this weekend!


 I am the demographic for this particular movie: 80's rock band music, Tom Cruise, and a cast of other stars.  I know that many of you wouldn't go to see this movie even if someone paid you.  However, I loved the music and thoroughly enjoyed the Broadway play when we saw it on tour.  Having the visual richness and sound of a movie combined with some of my favorite actors makes this a MUST SEE in my world.  I am planning on hobbling there this weekend to totally immerse myself in this nostalgic experience.  I will just add this to the joy that music brings to my life.

For today, I am listening to Adam Lambert, Bruno Mars, Gotye, Jason Mraz, Train, and classical music plus I will probably watch Duets tonight to round out my musical joy for the day.  What are you listening to?

Have you found your joy today?

30 Day of Joy: Day 12-Help

I do not like having to ask for help.  It is one thing to ask my family members to get me a glass of water when they are in the kitchen or take something downstairs for me the next time they go down.  It is a totally different animal when I can't do things and have to ask for help.  This is the situation I find myself in today.  

I've fallen and I can't get up!
(You know you're thinking it!)

If you read yesterday's post, you know that I fell down the stairs yesterday and injured my foot.  It is much better today, but I still need crutches to get around.  We live in a split level house so I am spending the day upstairs in my bedroom.  I have a master bath nearby and a television with cable.  I am propped up in bed writing this blog and am fairly comfortable with my foot elevated and surrounded by a bag of ice.  However, I find that I need to ask for things that I normally would just get on my own.  This is frustrating and quite humbling.

My son texted me when he went to bed early this morning that I should call his cell if I needed anything.  This was truly an act of love, because he loves to stay up late and then sleep late.  His offer to sacrifice sleep for me is monumental.  In addition, my husband decided to stay home with me today so he could  take care of me.  So, I have willing helpers at my fingertips.  However, it is amazing how difficult it is to continually ask for help.  

At first, it was no problem, but as time goes on, I am finding it harder to ask when I realize that I need something.  I started by asking for some coffee and water.  Then I needed food and medicine.  Next I needed ice for my foot (it's working...the swelling is going down).  I tried to entertain myself by watching TV.  As much as I enjoy some programs (The Chew is now my favorite guilty pleasure), daytime TV does not do it for me!  I decided to continue reading a book on my Kindle since I can spend hours reading.  Guess what!  Its battery is low so after reading a short while, I had to ask my husband to recharge it for me.  I surfed my iPhone for awhile but that got old pretty quickly and was frustrating when I couldn't share some of my friend Liz's great pictures.  (She always finds the most interesting things!  Thanks, Liz!)  Of course, I finally had to ask for my laptop and then the power cord so it could be plugged in.  Now my husband and son are out getting some food for our late lunch.  Where will this end?

I think that most of us find it easier to help than to ask for help.  I know that I do!  I think it's good that we are hardwired to help others.  We should continue to do so.  I also think it's a good thing that we are independent and aren't always asking others to do things for us.  However, we have to be able to accept help when we really need it.  I know that the best way to help my foot heal is to stay off of it, not do the stairs if I can avoid them, and ice it as much as possible.  In order to do those things, I have to ask for help!

This song keeps playing in my head!

I am very thankful that I have people in my life who are willing and able to help me.  As hard as this is, I am finding great joy in the love that's being given to me: that includes my friends who have been sending me messages and hugs after hearing about my injuries.  My older son called me last night to see how I was doing and to do FaceTime so that I could see my granddaughter.  He thought it might make me feel better.  It did!  Her laughter, "love you"s, and smile brightened my day.  My sons and their obvious love and concern  fill me with joy!  My husband taking the day to be my mobile companion confirms our love and commitment to each other.  So among the pain and humility of asking for help, I have found tremendous joy.  What about you?

Have you found your joy today?

30 Days of Joy: Day 11-Health

Have you looked at any magazines lately?  They all have ads and articles for health products.

• Do you want to try yoga? 
•  Have you seen the latest exercise equipment? 
•  Here's a new diet supplement to try.  
• Try this new healthy recipe.   

Our society is very health conscious-often focused on the quest to create the perfect body.  Most of us take being healthy for granted.  When we are young, it's not something we think about unless we are using it as an excuse for getting out of school.  As a child, we play hard all day and sleep blissfully uninterrupted at night.  As teenagers, we push our bodies in sports.  The upcoming Olympics will be a showcase for these phenomenal youth.  I will be glued to the television watching their physical endeavors.  As a young adult, we push ourselves to excel and raise our families often at the expense of sleep.  We run on treadmills and work out at health clubs.  Poor health is something that we don't consciously think about as we are involved in our everyday lives.

For most of us, there comes a time when this physical prowess comes to an abrupt halt!  As a child, we fall off our bikes and skin our knees.  As we get older, we break an arm or leg skiing or skating.  As an adult, we do something stupid like stumble and fall down the stairs.  This is what happened to me today and is the reason this post is later than usual.

It was stupid.  I was walking downstairs holding a big basket of laundry.  I'm not sure what happened, but my foot slipped. I threw the basket down the stairs, grabbed the banister to catch myself (didn't work!), and landed on the laundry basket.  I am probably lucky that it cushioned my fall and that I had my cell phone in my pocket.  I grabbed it to call my son so he could help me onto the couch.  It was clear that my foot was the casualty and that I couldn't walk on it without a lot of pain.

I called my husband who rushed home so that we could take a trip to Urgent Care.  After x-rays, I heard the good news that my foot isn't broken.  However, the soft tissue is damaged.  I came home with my foot in a walking boot, crutches to help me walk, and pain meds for tonight.  While I am in pain and confined to my home for awhile, I feel great joy that my foot isn't broken.  So, that is what I am joyful about today!  I'll trade a few days laid up for weeks out of commission followed by months of recovery.  I trust that you have had a better day health-wise than I did.


Have you found your joy today?  

30 Days of Joy: Day 10-Friends

I am so excited!  Today my husband and I are joining a group of friends for a late afternoon/early evening get-together.  These friends are truly special in our lives!  We often connect on Facebook, but we rarely can find a mutual time to come together as a group.  Once in a while, we have a large gathering at someone's home; this is just a small group of us sharing our joy in being friends.

When I look back 5 years, my husband and I did not have very many friends-acquaintances-yes-not friends.  I moved around so much when I was young that I don't have friends that I have known for a long time.  There are some friends from college that I have kept in touch with at Christmas but rarely see.  With the advent of Facebook, more of us are connecting through a class website that we share.  It is great fun finding out what they are all doing now, discovering the wit and wisdom in their posts, and seeing pictures of their families.  This reconnecting has been a recent outcome of being on Facebook.  Before that, we were busy with work and family; as a result, we had few friends.

I know!  It sounds kind of sad.  We were busy, had each other, but we were lonely at times.  I had a few close friends from work, and they are wonderful!  I am still close to them even after retirement.  However, it's nice to have friends who don't have anything to do with your work life.  Also, these were my friends-not my husband's.    As our children got older, went off to school, and developed their own circle of friends, we now had more time on our hands for socializing.  That was when something magical happened in our lives!

Since I was an HR Director who listened to people all day long, I was not a fan of talk radio.  When I was done with work, I wanted music to listen to on my way home.  However, my husband wasn't with people all day long and liked the company of talk radio as he drove in his car.  That is when he discovered a radio station filled with talented, entertaining, interesting people.  One of the things that this station had was a chat room where listeners could interact with the talent and with one another.  Since he is a techie anyway, he started conversing with others on this site.   Everyone chose a name/personae to use that provided some protection.  As time elapsed, many of the same people would interact with each other.  As my husband spent more time in this endeavor, I asked him what was going on.  His response, "I'm trying to find us some friends!"

Needless to say, I was surprised and a little concerned about this undertaking.  Who were these people? They started putting pictures of themselves on the site; my husband put a reflection from the rear view mirror of his car of his eyes with sunglasses.  He was being careful and giving nothing away!   Soon after that everyone was starting to get curious about one another.  So, a few of them decided to meet for dinner at Big Bowl.  My husband wanted to join them.  I cautiously encouraged him to go. After all, I was curious about these people too, and this was a public place.  He could always leave if he felt uncomfortable.  However, I did not want to go with him.  I didn't have an online friendship with them like he did.  So, I waited at home wondering where this was going to lead us.

This night was the beginning!  Rather than being uncomfortable, a lot of connections were made that night.  It went so well that they decided to have a few parties at a restaurant one of them owned where more people could gather and spouses could join in.  This was my introduction to this fabulous group of people!  There are all ages, occupations, and interests, but they all have such a wonderful joy of life.  Out of this, we have made very close friends who love, care for, and support one another.  The chat room at the radio station closed down several years ago, and we all migrated to Facebook.

Many of us used to drop in at the restaurant for a glass of wine and always found others from the group there to talk with.  While we are happy for her, our friend decided to sell the restaurant so we no longer have this as a gathering place.  As a result, it has been more challenging to find ways to see each other.  Small groups of us try to get together from time to time.  Larger group events happen occasionally-certainly not often enough.

Tonight will be one of those times that a smaller group of us get together.  We will all keep looking for ways to bring everyone together in the near future, because there is such joy in spending time with each other.  When I look at our lives now, we are truly blessed with the joy of good friends.  Many of these friends have become very close; I know that they would be there for us if we ever needed them as we would be there for them.  Our lives have been changed!  We laugh, because we have a more active social life than our children now.  I hope that you have found some time to spend with friends this lovely weekend, and that you are always on the lookout for finding joy in others!

Have you found your joy today?

30 Days of Joy: Day 9-Technology

Technology is changing our world!  I happen to be someone who loves technology.  I am guessing that anyone reading this blog has an affinity for technology as well.  When I look back over my life, I am amazed at how technology has become such an integral part of our lives.  Just think of the changes:

• From dial phones (even party lines with operators) to cell phones so that we are available for calls at any time or have access to information or assistance at our fingertips.

• From Kodak Instamatics using film to digital cameras where you can take all of the pictures you want and just delete the ones you don't like.

• From typewriters to large main frame computers and keypunch cards to desktop computers, laptops, and tablets.

• From board games to arcades to computer gaming and streaming.

• From paperbacks and hardcover books to e-readers.

• From records to 8 tracks to CDs.

• From movie and drive-in theaters to VCR tapes to DVD to Blueray.

I have seen so many changes, and I think I've done really well to keep up with technology.  I can remember keypunching cards for my husband to create a very simple program to run on the computer.  My fear that I would break something when I first started using computers is amusing to look back on now.  However, I was always interested in learning the newest technology and was fortunate to be surrounded by technology experts.  That was always reassuring and empowering, because I knew that I had someone readily at hand to fix anything that I messed up!  I have many friends who haven't kept up with technology; in fact, they have a fear of it.  I hope to never be like that!  I hope to be a very old lady using the latest technology available for communication, entertainment, and enjoying the latest media-whatever form that might take!

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Arthur C. Clarke

I look ahead and wonder what the next 50 years will bring in the realm of technology.  My granddaughter is only 21 months old and can operate an iPhone with ease.  It is amazing to watch her turn it on, find the photos icon, and surf the pictures.  She carefully puts her finger on the screen to play the videos of herself found there! When she's done, she closes that area and turns off the iPhone.  Incredible!  

This is truly a time of marvelous technology!  My niece just texted me using her new iPad.  This morning started with FaceTime with my son and granddaughter.  It was a great way to start the day as she laughs uproariously when she sees grandma and grandpa on her dad's iPhone!  I believe that we all remain young at heart as long as we remain open to new experiences.  I hope that I will always be open to new forms of technology!  It's so much fun and brings joy to learn new things.  I encourage you to keep finding your joy and staying open to new innovations.  For now...

Have you found your joy today?

30 Days of Joy: Day 8-Hugs

There is nothing as comforting as a hug.  It's interesting to think about how much hugging is an integral part of our world.  When I think back to when I was young, I don't remember hugging being a big part of the culture.  I'm sure that my parents gave me hugs when I was little but that stopped when I became an adolescent; probably at my request!  It was much later when I was grown up that my parents and I started hugging again.  


I love it when I get hugs now.  I have raised my children to hug when we get together-usually as we say goodbye.  My son is teaching his daughter the same tradition.  She melts my heart when she gives me a hug and kiss goodbye.  It is so sweet.  I also smile when I see her hug her parents.  There is nothing more touching than a parent-child hug.  I am guessing that many parents are hugging their graduating seniors this month as a way to share the joy and pride of the moment.  

A mom's hug lasts long after she lets go.
Anonymous

I think all of us need to be touched, and hugging is a healthy way of meeting that need.  I often thought that must have been one of the hardest things for my mother after my father died.  Who fulfilled her need to be touched?  I always made sure to give her lots of hugs when we would get together.  There are many times now when I wish that I could hug my parents one more time.   

My mother loved the cartoon Family Circus.  She always read it in the newspaper, and often asked if I had seen a particular one.  I know that there were many times when the kids in the cartoon were giving their parents hugs.  Bil Keane, the cartoonist, probably designed it that way on purpose according to his philosophy.  Maybe this is one reason she liked it so much!

A hug is like a boomerang - you get it back right away.
 Bil Keane, "Family Circus"

I have some wonderful friends who give hugs as greetings and goodbyes.  One friend always hugs in such a way that you know she is really treasuring the moment-the sharing, caring of good friends.  I love getting hugs from her!  I think some people are just natural at hugging.  My husband gives hugs freely to people.   Some people are like a hug department: always open!  I am much more reticent if I don't know the person very well, but I am working on it. 


I think that there are a lot of people out there who need a hug.  We often say to someone, "You need a hug!"; then give them one.  We send hugs through Facebook.  However, I believe that there are a lot of lonely people out there who need hugs and aren't getting them.  An inspiring initiative is the Free Hugs Campaign.  I would encourage you to click on the name to visit the website so you can read the story about Juan Mann.  His goal was to "reach out and hug a stranger to brighten up their lives".  Watch the video.  It is amazing and very touching.  

Hugging is a way to bring joy into someone's life.  I hope that you can reach out today and hug someone who needs it.  Maybe the person needing the hug is really you.  Whichever it is, it is certainly a way to experience joy and start a Circle of Joy.  Maybe this one little act will change their day, and they will go on to hug someone else.  Don't forget that just one drop (your hug) can create many ripples in the daily fabric of our lives.  Here is mine to you!

Have you found your joy today?