30 Days of Joy: Day 1-Smile

Have you ever noticed how great you feel when someone really smiles at you?  I'm not talking about a fake smile.  I'm talking about a genuine smile.  They make eye contact with you, and you can see it in their eyes.  It is a moment when you have made a connection with another human being.  It's a pretty magical moment.

If you are a parent, that moment when your baby first smiles at you is so powerful.  You can feel the impact of the parent-child bond from this one interaction.  It effects you emotionally and physically.  Your emotions well up, and you smile back.  It is as if you are saying, "Hey, you!  I know you."  The joy that the parent and child feel at this moment is unmistakable.

 I still feel that way as a parent.  My children are grown, but nothing touches me more than when my sons smile at me.  Now that I am a grandmother, I also experience joy when I see my granddaughter.  When she first sees me, she smiles and waves.  Her smile is so precious-it melts my heart!

I make it a point to smile when I interact with people I meet in public-especially with store clerks.  I always ask how they are.  It amazes me how often I take them by surprise.  Sometimes they appear so grumpy when I first approach them, but they light up when they smile and realize that I do see them as a human being.

 I'll never forget when I asked a clerk at ToysRUs how she was doing as I smiled at her.  She looked like she could rip my head off when I first put my purchases on the conveyor belt.  However, when I asked about her day, she started to tell me that she had been working for over 8 hours and that she had been up at night with her baby who was sick.  The more we talked, the more she relaxed.  By the end of that brief encounter, she was smiling again.  I like to think that I made an impact on her for that short amount of time.  I also think that those coming after me encountered a human being who was more relaxed and congenial.

I have a friend who always smiles.  She has a smile that would light up a room.  Since I have known her, she has encountered financial problems and the loss of a loved one.  She has struggled through the trials of raising her children and supporting her husband during unemployment.  She has worked endless hours even when sick.  Yet through it all, she always smiles.  She is truly an inspiration for me.  I believe that she is also an inspiration for many other people.  I know that she is loved by all of us.  If I ever need a pick-me-up, she is the one I would like to see.  I am truly blessed by her loving smile.

Don't forget the power of a smile.  As you find your joy today, take the time to reflect and smile about it.  See if you can start a Circle of Joy today.  If you are meeting other people, be sure to acknowledge them with a smile.  I hope that you will find someone who will return the favor so that you can bask in their smile and feed your joy.  Keep giving and searching...

Have you found your joy today?

30 Days of Joy

Since the beginning of this blog, I have been thinking about what it should be when it grows up.  While writing is very fulfilling for me, I want Joy2Day to have meaning and help bring joy to others.  It's always an interesting process of determining what I should write about each time.  I keep a running list as ideas occur to me, but I usually write about what's uppermost in my mind and/or life at the time.  Thinking about the future of Joy2Day has been an intriguing exercise.

A friend who read my blog suggested that I might want to check out The Joy Project which was created by Amanda Gore.  You may want to visit The Joy Project's website sometime.  It is very interesting, and I found many common interests.  The Joy Project encourages everyone to find joy in their lives so that they can change their lives for the better.  People are invited to become part of the joy movement and join a joy tribe.  I thought that this was very much along the lines of what I was thinking about; but then I discovered 2 fundamental differences.

The first difference is that The Joy Project is founded on principles in the Gospel of Joy.  I believe very strongly in spirituality, but I felt that this was too close to Christianity for what I was intending with Joy2Day.  I have too many friends who have been hurt by organized religion, and there is too much going on in our world that ostracizes people based on a particular religious position.  Please don't misunderstand.  I belong to a Christian church.  My brother is a Lutheran pastor.  I think that The Joy Project is a wonderful endeavor.  In fact, I would encourage you to check it out.  It may be a great fit for you.  It is just not what I am striving for in Joy2Day.

The second difference is that The Joy Project is internally focused to help people find joy in their lives.  That is wonderful, but I don't think it goes far enough.  This is what has intrigued me in my struggle to develop an identity for Joy2Day.  I feel very strongly that we need to find joy and then share it with others!  If you are struggling to find joy in your life, The Joy Project is probably a great program for you.  If you are wanting to spread joy to others, I'd like you to join my journey.  

Facebook has been a wonderful experience for me!  I have found so many giving, loving, caring, joyful friends who provide support to each other as we encounter life's difficult times that are inevitable.  It has been incredible to watch as people who have never met reach out to their Facebook friends in times of need.  Why not try to encourage this?  What if everyone reached out to just one person every day that they went on Facebook in order to tell a positive story, send a hug, share a picture, provide encouragement?  Many of us do that a lot already.  I have one friend who sends wonderful pictures with inspirational or funny sayings every single day.  She makes me laugh and sometimes touches me in ways that make me cry.  She is a constant source of joy.  Why not join her in being purposeful about this?

I want to encourage all of you to join this effort.  I think of this as creating Circles of Joy.  Think of yourself as a drop of water.  Your reaching out to someone to spread joy today is like a drop of water in a still pond.  You create a ripple which gets bigger and has a far reaching impact on that still pond.  These ripples, Circles of Joy, can touch a lot of people.  You don't have to post on Facebook more often; you just have to pick one person each day that you post something and do something that spreads joy to them .  We could be a Circle of Joy made up of friends who make a conscious effort to share our joy with each other.  I think that this can be very empowering for those who are starting a new venture; supportive for those who are struggling with a loss in their family; encouraging for those who are trying to solve one of life's many dilemmas.  Just think what we could accomplish!

In an endeavor to get this started, I am going to try to blog every day in June: 30 Days of Joy.  I am going to try to share different examples of joy each day.  I am also going to go on Facebook each day, pick at least one friend to share some joy with in an effort to start my own Circle of Joy.  If this interests you, join me in spreading joy to others, and be sure to check into Joy2Day every day for new ideas for finding and spreading joy.  Better yet: become a member so you don't miss any posts.  I'd love to hear from you!  Let me know what you think by leaving a comment.  And don't forget to take care of yourself.  In other words...

Have you found your joy today?

Nesting and the Creative Process

I really like to write!  It can be a creative process which I find relaxing as I search for the right words or thoughts.  I am at my most creative when I take all of my jewelry off; someone once told me that my Native American heritage must need to be free from adornment to commune with my creativity.  Who knows?  It makes sense to me, and it works!  I also usually have a beverage (water, tea, or my fave-coffee).  I often write at night although that was probably born of necessity.  When I was working, it was the only time when it was quiet in the house.  I have always written whether it was newsletters when I was teaching or a weekly informational newsletter for Human Resources.  It was fun, but I have recently realized how dependent my creativity is on my environment!

Environment is very important!  My daughter-in-law is expecting a baby and part of the process is creating a welcoming, comfortable environment for her newborn.  She has spent time researching products, bidding on Ebay, and visiting BabiesRUs in order to make the best choices.  Society calls this nesting.  It is an important part of the motherhood experience.  I also have a friend who is moving into a new apartment.  She will be selling her house and starting a new job; so this marks a change in direction in her life.  She looked at a lot of places before making a final decision and is now in the process of buying new furniture and disposing of old items that no longer fit her new lifestyle.  As she moves in, she is organizing her clothes and envisioning how to make this a home.  I think that both of these women are experiencing the nesting process, and I understand it.

My environment has always been important to me, too.  When I was a teacher, I always had to make sure that my classroom was attractive, appealing, and comfortable for both me and my students.  My desk was my personal space and had to be just so. 

 I made sure that my students all had a place to display their artistic products so that the classroom belonged to them, too. When I was an HR professional, I always decorated my office.  Since I often spent 10+ hours a day in it, I wanted it to be efficient and appealing.  Over the years, I collected artwork, and employees would bring me different cultural items for display.  I greatly appreciated all of their gifts and added to the cultural art and artifacts when I traveled.  I always liked my offices.  Now that I'm retired, I wish that I had taken pictures.  After all, I spent years in those spaces.  I recently did some consulting for my old employer and saw my old office.  The walls were bare, it was a cold environment, and lacked character.  I realized that it was really nice when I decorated it.

When I retired, I brought home all of my artwork and artifacts.  Since I share my home with my husband and son, I didn't have any space that was really mine; so I decided to take one of the rooms as my office.  I spent a lot of time unpacking, getting my desk set up, and buying things to make it more efficient like lighting and containers.  In my office, I had an etagere that used to belong to my parents.  This is where I put all of the cultural artifacts.  It is now in my office with these artifacts on display.  I bought a TV for the bottom shelf so that I can watch programs if I want.  My office also has a futon where my son often sits while visiting me.  However, my office never felt complete, because it didn't have my art on the walls.

This weekend, my husband was kind enough to finally put up all of my art.  I now feel like my "nest" is ready!  I have my cultural art, some memorabilia about my dad, and the plaques/certificates I have received over the years and at my retirement.  I feel like my office now displays my character.  It is warm and inviting!  

I am so excited that I have a comfortable area to call my own.  I know that I will be writing even more in the future.  I am happy and feel joy when I can post a blog.  I don't know if anyone is reading them, but I still enjoy putting my musings in writing.  This is truly joyful!  So, do you have a "nest" that reflects who you are and makes you comfortable and lends joy to your life?  Even more important...

Have you found your joy today?

I Can See Clearly Now...

You may have noticed that there was a significant break in posts on this blog.  Let me assure you that it wasn't that I was bored with it or didn't have anything to write about.  The truth is that I was out of commission for over six weeks because I had cataract surgery on both of my eyes.

Always before, when I heard about someone having cataract surgery, I thought, "They must be old.  How terrible to get to the point where you can't see very well."  For Christmas this past year, I bought gifts for elderly adults through a program at my local Starbucks.  I chose a man and a woman to buy gifts for and discovered that they both wanted large print books.  It took a little searching to find some that were affordable, but I wanted to make sure to provide that along with the towels and puzzles they were asking for on their list.  I thought about how hard it would be if I couldn't read.  In fact, my son and I discussed how great it was to have a Kindle and that it was really too bad that these adults didn't have this technology that could change the font size of any book to meet their needs.  Little did I know that I would soon experience the frustration of not being able to read or drive due to my eyesight!

I learned that cataracts can happen at any age.  I am a bit young to have the surgery (I'm in my late 50s, but both of my parents had cataracts; so the doctors weren't surprised that I also had them), and I had reached a point where I was having trouble reading due to the cloudiness of my vision in my left eye.  In addition, they could no longer correct the vision in my right eye so that I could see at a distance clearly.  Therefore, I knew it was time!  Since you don't have to worry about having to have this surgery again, I decided that there was no reason to wait until I was older.  In fact, it might be a way to make my vision better so I wouldn't have to wear glasses all of the time.  My surgeon asked me if I wanted to correct for distance or reading.  Since I have had to wear glasses for distance since I was in fourth grade, I decided I wanted to try to correct for distance.  He warned me that I might still need glasses due to my astigmatism, but I wanted to try!

I had a wonderful surgeon who did surgery on one eye and then, two weeks later, on the other eye.  I cannot begin to describe how frustrated I was during those two weeks.  For that time, I had one corrected eye and one that still needed glasses.  My husband was kind enough to pop the lens for the corrected eye out of my glasses; so for this time period I walked around looking pretty weird with my half-lensed glasses!  I was especially frustrated because I couldn't read my computer or books.  I bought several different pairs of cheaters from the store but kept switching since none seemed to work right!  There were times when I cried and wondered if I had ruined my eyes forever.  However, patience paid off; I had the second surgery, and things were better.  Since it takes at least 4 weeks after surgery for your eyesight to stabilize, I had another month of waiting.

I am happy to say that my vision has improved so dramatically that I am just on the border of needing  glasses (sometimes for driving-usually at night).  I watch television, movies, my street, and anything at a distance without glasses.  I can work on my computer just fine.  I do need to wear cheaters to read.  One thing that they didn't tell me about was how much brighter the world would be!  My lenses had changed my vision so that everything had a yellowish hue-much like the headlights on most cars.  Now, with my new vision, the world was bright with a blue tinge like the new headlights you see on the road.  How beautiful the colors are!  I couldn't believe how red the cardinal was at our bird feeder.

While all of this is an improvement, it has taken some adjustment.  The biggest adjustment was my brain.  It was used to needing glasses for distance and usually being able to read without glasses (although I had started needing glasses for reading sometimes too).  Now I flipped everything around and my brain was just confused!  I had to retrain my brain to the new reality of my vision.  It took the full six weeks to complete this process.

While I have always had a tremendous appreciation for my eyesight, I cannot tell you how much I value it now.  Reading is such an important part of my life.  I always knew it on an intellectual level.  Now I understand it on an emotional level.  It is wonderful to read, to be able to look outside without glasses and watch the birds, appreciate nature, recognize my friends from a distance.  I know some of you do a double-take when you realize that there is something different when you see me sans glasses.  You just see the surface changes; I am living with the changes deep inside of me as a result of the decisions I made to have these surgeries.  I don't regret them.  In fact, my granddaughter now encourages Grandma to put on her glasses so we can watch videos of her on my iPhone.  She's so cute when she points to my head for me to put on my glasses!  My husband likes my new look with my "headband" of readers.  He thinks I'm very stylish.  I am very lucky.  I am finding great joy in my world and how I experience it!  What about you?

Have you found your joy today?

Are Your Mondays Like a Math Problem?

 "Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness."

Have you noticed that Facebook is filled with moans and groans about Mondays?  It is very rare for a Monday to pass without a reference to how difficult Mondays are.  I know that I contributed my share of comments on Facebook when I was particularly stressed about Mondays, because I used to feel the same when I was working.  I hated Mondays!  As someone whose natural body rhythm makes me LOVE late nights and HATE early morning, I always stayed up too late on Sunday nights to try to eke out every last minute of my weekend.  The result was that I was so-o-o tired on Monday mornings.  At times, I felt like I needed an IV of coffee to jump-start my day.  What made it even worse was the fact that I always had an afternoon full of meetings every single Monday.  It was torture!  I felt like I could handle the rest of the week with ease if I could Just. Get. Through. Monday.

Now that I'm retired, I have done a 180 on Mondays.  I LOVE Mondays!  There are many reasons for this change of view.

1. The most obvious is one that work-at-home moms have known for years.  Everyone goes back to work/school, and it is so quiet!  As much as I love my family, I relish the "me time" that faces me every Monday.  My time is my own on Mondays, and I've given myself permission to be lazy that day if I want.  Sometimes I need the day to recover from the hectic events of the weekend.  I read books and the newspaper, listen to my  music, catch up on TV shows that I missed, watch the birds at the feeder, drink my coffee in peace...whatever I want to do!
2. I also have a sense of optimism on Mondays!  While I have things that I need to accomplish during the week, I have four other days to get them done.  Anything I finish on Monday gives me a great sense of accomplishment because it's something I wanted to do-not something I HAD to do.  Anything I didn't get done: no problem!  I have 4 other days to get them done before the weekend is here.
3. I make a point of not setting appointments or scheduling anything on Mondays.  There is something psychologically satisfying about knowing that you don't have a schedule to follow for at least one day every week.  Doctor appointments can occur on a different day of the week.  Social engagements, such as lunches with friends which I thoroughly enjoy, can happen another day.  This is my unscheduled day to experience as it unfolds.

I know that I am very fortunate to have the opportunity to view Mondays differently now that I am retired.  It is very freeing!  I hope that you, too, can find a way to embrace your Mondays.  After all, they are just another day of the week.  You can take charge of them if you want and change their impact on your daily life.  I know, I know.  It's easy to say that; harder to do.  So, here are some ideas you may want to try to make your Mondays more enjoyable: If you have a gamer in your house, you have probably heard about the online game, StarCraft!  There is a commentator for StarCraft competitions named Day9.  Every Monday he releases "Funday Monday" for view online.  While I do not play StarCraft, I love to watch Day9.  He is so entertaining.  Just thinking about his videos brings a smile to my face. Visit Day(9)TV at http://day9.tv/ if you want to check him out.  He will make you laugh! I find that my weekend can get really busy, and I miss news about what's going on in the world.  If you are a news junkie, you may want to try http://news.yahoo.com/10-things-know-monday-104352258.html to catch up on what's happening around you.  It's a quick, fun way to get back in touch. Visit a local coffeehouse on your way to work or on your way home to treat yourself.  If you are lucky enough to live in Northfield, MN, visit the Goodbye Blue Monday Coffee House. Just STOP!  Take a moment for you.  Enjoy the world around you whether it is the sunrise on your way into work, the sun shining in your moon roof, the breeze coming in your window during your drive, the music blasting from your car, your child's smile as you come in the door, or any form of nature that you encounter during your day. These are just a few ideas for you.  You probably have many more to offer that work for you.  Feel free to share them if you'd like.  Bottom line: I hope that you can find a way to make this Monday, and all of those in your future, more palatable.  It has taken me 34 years of working to reach the point where I embrace Mondays and thoroughly enjoy them.  My hope is that you will arrive here one day, too.  In the meantime... Have you found your joy today?

Top Ten Joys of Retirement

At the end of 2011, we see many top ten lists.  They are a way to look back over the last year and reminisce.  Now that I have been retired for six months (6 months!) , I thought that I would do my own top ten: the Top Ten Joys of Retirement.  Here we go:

Not Going to Work: This may be the most obvious, but it is worth mentioning!  While I miss the people I worked with, I do not miss getting up every day to go to work.  I don't miss the stress, the lack of sleep, the politics, and the (pardon me) the bullshit!  I feel like I did great work, but it was time for someone else to move it forward.  I know that I made the right decision at the right time!

Sleep: I was always so sleep deprived when I was working.  I'm such a night owl and would stay up until midnight whether I worked or not.  My weekends were spent trying to recover from exhaustion.  Now I often stay up until 1:00 or 2:00 AM.  I usually get up around 9:00 AM but sleep later if I really want to do so.  My alarm goes off at 8:00 AM.  I listen to the radio and ease into the day.  I am so much more rested.  It is so-o-o wonderful!

Cooking: I am cooking again!  I am also enjoying doing it.  I have rediscovered some of my mother's recipes, and I have discovered new ones.  My not-so-secret addiction is a new TV show: The Chew!  They inspire me to try new things and to explore the joys of cooking again.  Now I have to figure out how to cook and not eat everything I have cooked.  Moderation is going to be the key for me this year.

Reading: I've read over 40 books on my Kindle and more hard copies! This is heaven for me.  I love to read, and Kindle has made it so much easier for me to access my favorite authors anytime I want a new book.  Every day I check to see what the Kindle Daily Deal is although I rarely buy them.  I've also read magazines and newspapers.  I carry my Kindle in my large purse and pull it out to read anytime I have an extra minute.  Many Thursday afternoons I have sat at Starbucks reading while drinking my latte!

Writing: I've thoroughly enjoyed writing this blog during the year.  It was nice to chronical what I was going through as I retired and as I've tried to adjust to my new world of retirement.  My blog has evolved over time and has become more about my mission to find joy in my life every day and less about retirement.  I have also been writing memories from my childhood so that I can share these with my children.  There are memories that I have that no one else has now that my parents are gone.  It has been personally rewarding.  I can't wait to get back to it after the holidays!

Not Getting Dressed Up: I LOVE getting up, throwing on my robe and slippers, making my coffee, and reading the newspaper in the morning.  I don't have to rush to get dressed.  Better yet-I don't have to wear make up every day!  If I want to be in my jammies all day, I can.  I also bought new clothes when I retired so I can hang out in my jeans and sweats.  I am comfy!

Owning My Schedule/Non-Schedule: It is great to be in control of my time.  Some days I accomplish a lot-errands, chores, etc.  At other times, I just watch the birds at my bird feeders or the squirrels chasing each other in our yard.  Some times I do marathon TV watching.  I am also having fun exploring my family history!  It's great not having meetings to go to or deadlines to meet.

Taking Care of Abbey: I have had the pleasure of taking care of my granddaughter, Abbey, two afternoons a week when her mom went to classes.  Her dad picks her up on his way home. It has been great getting to see her change each week as she grows and learns.  I'm happy that she feels comfortable with Grandma.  I'm honored that my daughter-in-law trusts me with her precious daughter.  I am thrilled to have time with my son every week.  I am looking forward to more!

Time With Family and Friends: I am so grateful that I now have time with my family and friends.  Since I'm not so tired all of the time, I spend time with friends.  I stay up late and hang out with Dane, my son who's in college.  I am home when my husband gets home.  We actually have time to do things together.  These lovely people are most important in my life.  It is a blessing to finally share my time with them.  I can do things with my son, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter.  We are all looking forward to the arrival of our new family member in June when Abbey becomes a big sister, and I can't wait to spend time with him/her.

Being in the Moment: The best thing about being retired is being in the moment.  I had forgotten how wonderful it is to just BE!  I have learned to appreciate the changing seasons, the people around me, nature, and whatever I am experiencing.  I take the time to have philosophical conversations.  I savor a glass of wine or a leisurely dinner.  As a result, I find joy everywhere I look.






Thanks for sharing 2011 with me!  Happy New Year to you!  I look forward to writing more blogs during 2012 and hope that you will enjoy them.  If you enjoy reading my ramblings, share them with others or send me a comment.  Whatever you do, be sure to look around and discover joy in your life!

Have you found your joy today?

The Joy of December

Today is the first day of December!  How did it get here so quickly?  I am so excited about getting ready for the holidays this year.  When I was working, I often took the week of Thanksgiving as vacation so I could start getting ready for Christmas.  I would start my shopping, write my Christmas letter, and work on my Christmas card list at the same time that I was preparing for Thanksgiving.  Now that I am retired, I was able to get all of my shopping done (much of it online and during the November sales) by the middle of November.  I was able to spend time researching options and picking the right thing for my family members.  I can't wait for them to open their presents this year.  I also had my Christmas cards printed, my letter written, and my list mostly updated.  This was wonderful!  As a result, when my husband took vacation during Thanksgiving week, we were able to do other things and not make ourselves crazy.  It was great!

I am also excited, because we have the Christmas decorations done outside.  The wreaths are hung, the Santa flag is out, and the lights are on the house.  There have been many years when my husband and I have been out in the snow, all bundled up, freezing to death while we put the lights on the house.  This year it was in the 40's and was very pleasant.  I am so enjoying the decorations!

For the first time in many years, I am looking forward to decorating the house and the tree in a leisurely fashion.  I can't wait to make candy and Christmas cookies.  I am excited to start wrapping presents.  There are so many things that I enjoy doing when I have enough time.  I finally have it.  This year, I am not feeling driven to get things done quickly.  There is no panic that I am running out of time or that I have so much to do.  I am not exhausted as I partake of holiday festivities.  I am finally able to BE in the moment and enjoy the preparations.  I can do things for me, because I enjoy it-not because I feel like I HAVE to do it.

I know that I am very fortunate to have this opportunity!  For those of you who are in danger of getting caught  up in the holiday frenzy, I hope that you will be able to find a moment to pick something that you really enjoy doing and BE in the moment.  Enjoy it, laugh, relish the activity, and have fun with family!





Enjoy the holidays and be joyful!





Have you found your joy today?