I remember watching my dad when he retired. He was a vice president of a major corporation one moment; then he was not. It was hard for him. I think that he lost a part of his identity. Status was a big part of his generation, and his status was tied to his title.
I am a member of the baby boomer generation. I survived watching the Vietnam War every single night during my formative years. We questioned the government; we questioned the status quo. I know that this changed my life. I was not like my parents in defining myself by the viewpoints of others. I decided a long time ago to be my own person. I am hoping that this will continue into my retirement. I also realize that I have other titles that may mean even more to me!
One title that I am proud of is "wife"! That title is one that I have held for a very long time-almost 38 years now. I have earned it! I was fortunate that I married my best friend, but every marriage is hard. You have to work at it, and I have done so. While my husband will still be working for a few more years, I am hoping that my retirement will allow us to spend more time together on the weekends instead of errands or resting because I was so tired. Eventually, we hope to be able to travel and explore old age together.
Another title that means a lot to me is "sister". I am so blessed because I have twin brothers whom I love very much. They don't live in the Twin Cities anymore, and I don't get to see them very often BUT I adore them. This is a title that I have held the longest-for 47 years. (Sadly, both of my parents are gone so I can't claim the title of daughter anymore.) My brothers have shared my journey/my history and love me no matter what. There is always a connection there. Since there is a difference in our ages, we are in different stages of our lives. However, I know that they are always there if I need them.
I have saved the most important title for last: "mother". This is the one that I am most proud of and I think that it truly defines me if any title does. This one has changed my life! I will be a mother to my last breath. I know that fathers love their children, but I don't think that they understand a mother's love. It is visceral! It is all-encompassing! And it never goes away no matter how old they are-no matter what they do! I am so proud of my sons and the young men they have become. They are smart, caring, and loving. My older son is a lot like me. We often see the world in the same way, and I enjoy watching him with my granddaughter (yes, I am a grandmother, too!). He is in love with his daughter and it touches my soul. How can I describe my feelings for my younger son? We are alike and different at the same time, and we have a connection that is strong, resilient, and indescribable. I am grateful for every minute I can spend with him as I watch him grow up before my eyes.
Am I giving up my titles from work? Yes! However, I am keeping the titles that truly define me, that truly are important to me. And who knows? I may experience exciting and new titles in my future! And no matter what: my joy is still with me because it is in my family!
Have you found your joy today?
I would say that you are still a daughter - I don't think that title goes away just because your parents are no longer on this earth. Think of yourself as a Daughter Emeritus.
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